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Monday, November 12, 2012

Kindness Challenge Day 12: Forgive Someone

Monday, November 12,  2012

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Today's task was to forgive someone who had:

a. wronged you in the past
b. hurt your feelings at some point
c. been rude or disrespectful
d. been an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, etc.
e. anything you can come up with or recall about a person you have yet been unable to forgive.

If you wish to read a more detailed  description go directly to today's task of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge at PersonalExcellence.co.

My Experience

Personally, I found today's task to be hard. So much it's taken me a long time to achieve this task. Why? Because sometimes the inner thorns are deep and hard to detach but it's only if we remove each thorn that comfort can be found. There's another reason as well-- in my current state I can be a hot-tempered person sometimes because I'm hiding my own insecurities and thus I don't share my emotions as much. But as the quote on my image suggests...it's the people who can't forgive that are the weakest and the people that do forgive the strongest.

Sometimes we can make a million excuses as to not forgive someone..and it's probably one of the hardest things to do in certain situations but saying an "I'm sorry" and an "I forgive you" is more than just a treasure. it's a lifestyle and a liberating process.

I was able to forgive 9 people today. I forgave them because I realized that the reason I was mad at them was not because they had wronged me...it was only because of my lack of understanding for others needs at times and my own selfishness led to me blaming them when in reality..the person who I most couldn't forgive was myself. I was frustrated at my own failures and when I saw my  failures mirrored in another person I couldn't help but feel a restraint and like second nature become cold and mean when all that was happening was that I felt unsatisfied in myself. I wasn't satisfied in myself. I was holding on to expectations.

Expectations are the worst we can hold on to-- but I'll go deeper on this topic on a future article. For now I'll just let on this point. I was unsure what exactly it meant to forgive (To me forgiving used to be something you'd only do if somebody asked you to forgive them for doing a wrong to you) So I read various articles to further my perspective on forgiveness and what I read was eye-opening. One of the articles I read said:

"Who I am to be angry at somebody else, when I'm not feeling what they are going through."

In some way, this is true. Even if it's somebody close to you and you think you can understand what they feel--the truth is we can't 100% understand and live in the flesh what others are doing, what problems come up in their daily lives, what stresses, what feelings their lives events trigger in their hearts, etc.

Sometimes, the reason others are rude/mean to you aren't directly related to you, but instead, many factors in their life. By the time they are rude to you they'd had already built in many bottled up stresses and angers--so after realizing that fact I no longer take insults that personally anymore. :)

Lessons

Forgiving is a process and a lifestyle. Sometimes it takes a while to truly forgive..but it's possible..and it's worth it..

photo credit: swanksalot via photopin cc


Update: Registrations for the 14-Day Kindness Challenge at PE have closed but you are still free to do the challenge at your own pace, any time. You can always share your results in the comments section in Basked in Sunshine. Thank you so much for reading my experience. I hope it will serve as an inspiration for you guys/gals in the near future. Let's make the world a kinder place - together. :)

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