How To Cope With Depression

Hey guys and gals-- I have news: I've finished High School and if there's something I'd like to say, it's that I'm extremely happy!!!

Freedom at last-- I'm a free woman wuuujuuu!!!

*Ahem* But it wasn't always like this. My High School life was very contradicting , I loved my friends but I despised (and still despise) school so so much that I fell into depression almost this entire semester. As a graduation gift from me to you, I'd love to share with you my story and 3 key factors that helped me to cope with my depression.

My Story

"This was me inside of school, when I finished school I felt like I broke free, and stopped being a slave."

I've always hated school but I've never despised school so much as I did during my last semester of High School. It all started back in December, when the first semester ended. I had recently gone to a  spiritual retreat and soon after participated in the 2013 countdown challenge.

Thanks to both of this impacting events in my life, I was a changed person. I stopped being lazy and started writing articles, polished my blog, connected with fellow bloggers, did my chores, studied for the College Board and my Driver's License-- all in one days work and I even had time to spare for my own hobbies!!

I was probably the most happiest with myself during this time, but then it happened...second semester kicked in again in January. I became lazy again, posted less articles and stopped being so dedicated with my chores.

To make up for it, my grades improved a bit, but they were still far from being 100% grades. I know myself more than anybody, and I know that if I had been more stronger with my approach, I could had balanced my life with my studies and my blog.

To be honest, High School was easier than everything I had studied in Middle School and I'm a fast writer so posting blog posts weekly wasn't an issue at all.

I could had achieved my goals easily if I wanted to, but why didn't I?

Was it procrastination? Lack of interest? Laziness?  Lack of courage? Lack of passion? Fear? Partially, yes-- falling in my life as low as I did during this semester were indeed a side effect of all of my negative emotions, but more than anything else, what made me put my life almost in entire halt was...depression.

Yep... I was depressed.

It was horrible. I had finally discovered my passion and freedom during winter break, and yet here I was again.. wasting 5 months of my only life at school again... studying material that would be worthless in my future job.

By the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that depression is a real mental illness that can be very hard to overcome. I've been there, I still kind of am there but I'm getting over it and I'd like to tell every person in the world who has gone through depression that you are not alone.

It's easy to tell a depressed person to just overcome the depression but any person who has ever truly been in depression can tell you that it's not that easy. Many times people in depression are treated as weaklings and not as person who is mentally sick and needs help.

Back to topic-- fast forward 5 months and High School is now over. I'm sad but I'm also happy, eager, excited... My eyes glitter and my lips smile as I say "I'm free to choose what I want to do, for the rest of my life." because the truth is that...

  "All great changes are preceded by chaos" ~ Deepak Chopra

 A Different Side To The Story

My friends

Now, I'll share a different side of my story that makes my eyes water...my friends. I'm a shy girl but at heart I am a social person. My biggest treasure in life are my friends.

I disagreed with the dynamics of school, since the material that was teached was irrelevant to my passion. I just wanted to get out of there and have the freedom to live as my heart asks me to-- but at the same time... I loved my friends, I still do and even if this friendships were to disappear in a near future they will forever remain in my heart as my golden memories and my friends forever.

But there's a good ending to this story, from now on I will dedicate my life to my passion and keep in contact with my friends while they still desire me as their friend and, of course, keep meeting new people and making even more friends!! :)

My Gift For You

As I stated at the start of this article, in order to celebrate my newly found freedom, I have a gift for you all. Now that you know my story, you know that I was in a deep state of depression the entire second semester. Did I overcome it? No, I never did till I got rid of High School-- but the least I can do is share with you 3 key factors which helped me to temporarily cope with my depression until it all ended.

I'd like to remind you in advance, that it is always better to heal the issue permanently by healing the root of the problem but if you're in a situation like I was, in which all you needed was a temporal coping system until the outside problem ended, then here it is:

#1- Listen to happy/active music

 

Being depressed and listening to sad low toned music is a big no-no. A song can have mayor keys or minor keys. Minor keys have been related worldwide as a sad emotion due the key being quiet and slow-- similar to our state of mind when we are sad.

Active and fast music with mayor keys are related with staying active, happiness or general well-being so we will naturally feel better by listening to active music when we are depressed.

#2- Comedy relief

 

Funny videos, funny jokes, a light-hearted show-- they can make wonders when we are sad. While I'm not a big fan of distracting your thoughts from the things that matter, there have been days in which my mood was lifted from a sad one into a generally happy one due to funny jokes that made my day, especially jokes made by friends which brings me to the next point...

#3- Stay active with your friends

What's better than spending a day with friends who make you smile, laugh and experience new things? Sometimes even be there for you when you most need a listening ear? As long as you have a healthy relationship with your friends, staying active and hanging out can be a slow healer to your heart.

Bonus tip: Do your responsibilities (For example: homework, study, chores). Keeping small goals on a daily basis gives you a reason to live, to go on and never give up. 

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Quick! Get Up!! 5 Second Rule!

"The early bird gets the worm"

There is a food superstition that's been around for ages that states that after you drop your food to the ground, it will take approximately 5 seconds for germs to contaminate it and make it uneatable. This common superstition states that if you pick up your food before the 5 second mark, then your food will be clean for consuming since the germs haven't gotten to it yet.

Now don't get me wrong, it's been long proven this superstition is erroneous but we won't be talking about germs or food here. At least not the food we consume with our stomachs! Instead, we'll be talking about the food our soul consumes. Which is what? Positive energy and negative energy.

Right now, I'm going to tell you a story that envisions the point I'm trying to pass across. While you read it, imagine this orb is you. Live, breath and feel whatever the orb experiences. Well then... here we go:

The Universe's Energy

 

There is a colorless orb floating in a dark confined space. The orb feeds from its own energy, feeling nothing but what it wants to feel or worse, feeling nothing. Suddenly, a bright yet tiny light shines from a tiny dot in the confined space.

The orb is attracted to this light, the orb blindly moves towards the tiny dot. The orb does not know what consequences this shining dot will bring upon it's lifespan, but it moves towards the dot anyways since it's the first time the orb sees such a light.

The orb has entered the light, inside this white area he comes across red, blue, yellow, green, violet, orange, pink, grey and brown. For the first time, the orb see what colors are.

The orb, in curiosity,  sucks the blue color and gulps it. Now the orb is blue. The orb quickly feels a rush of emotions such as trust, serenity, calm spreading across it's tiny body...they were positive emotions but not ones it expected to feel, but wait...he quickly notices blue also reflects his other half of emotions..this are coldness, unfriendliness, aloofness. This were emotions it did not want to feel, but it was feeling them, against its will.

Upon feeling this negative emotions, the orb spits out the blue color. It then sucks the pink color and is now pink. The orb is feeling sensations such as nurturing, warmth and love. It is feeling happy again but wait...negative emotions surface once again..emotions such as  inhibition, claustrophobia and weakness.

The orb quickly spits the color pink. It eventually feeds upon every color in the white space...but every single color makes it feel good at first, but badly after and they were all emotions the orb could not control. The orb simply wanted to take control of its feelings, like how when it was inside the dark confined space..but outside..all this emotions kept disrupting the balanced emotions it had inside the confined space.

 The orb doesn't like this. The orb likes the controlled comfort inside the darkness, where no colors could hurt it and only its thought mattered. Just when the orb is about to return to the dark confined space, the colors scream "Stop!! 5 Seconds!! Just stay still 5 seconds and give us a chance to prove ourselves,for once in your life!!

The orb understood the words right away, it returned and sucked all of the colors. Now the orb has the colors of rainbows. It can feel all types of emotions. It feels positive emotions and negative emotions. Each time the negative emotions strike, the orb has an urge to return to its dark confined place..where nothing can hurt and it's safe for eternity..but instead it stays still, very still and allows all this emotions to take over.

The light whispers: "Well? How is it?"

"It isn't as bad as I thought it was." Says the orb.

"Exactly, there will always be negative and positive energy in life but it's all about learning to live on--  because life will never be perfect. When you were in your confined space in the dark, which we call the comfort zone, you felt safe because you were not taking risks and without risks you aren't truly living, but now that you have given us unwanted situations and emotions a chance to prove ourselves, you have now learned that your fears weren't as bad as you thought they were. It was simply a matter of stopping and feeling one last time before giving up."

The orb smiles and thanks the colors. It realizes there will always be negative emotions as long as it allows positive emotions inside, but it was far better than living in the dark and doing nothing, the answer wasn't to wait for the storm to pass, but to learn to dance in the rain.

Moral: "To love is to risk not being loved at all. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing-- so give yourself a chance and enter the light for 5 seconds, 5 seconds only and then tell me which you'd path you'd rather choose? The life in the darkness that feels safe but will lead you nowhere, or the light outside that is dangerous but will guarantee you a life of excitement and achieved dreams. Your choice."

The 5 Second Rule

We have a habit to live in this dark - yet cozy room - called our comfort zone. We live in this warm room that gives us a sense of security and happiness, but this security is false. When somebody opens the door to our room, a small light peaks in and it hurts our eyes. The wider that door is opened, the more we want to curl up and hide. Our eyes can't stand the reality, it's so unbearable that we run to close it again, close our eyes, and be safe once more. We don't want to step out of our rooms, because we are AFRAID to be HURT!

Inside our dark room we feel safe in the comfort of our internal positive energy. We will feel safe and in control because who treats us better than we do? We know how to treat ourselves better than anybody else. If it's just you, nobody will hurt you and it's safe...but is that REALLY living? Hiding from the world and staying inside that comfort zone, no exploration, no growing as a person, you remain in this comfort zone sooo long that simply lifting your view and looking at your window hurts too much.

That's where the 5 second rule kicks in. Sometimes we are afraid of what's behind that door, so - SO afraid that we don't want to even think about the outside world. The answer to breaking our comfort zone?? Simply stand up, open that door-- Feel as you want to hide again? STOP and keep walking, don't stop, for 5 seconds don't think, just keep walking outside and look only at the light.

Now you are outside, now look at your fear right there before your eyes. You have but just stepped outside of this door and yet, you feel like locking yourself inside again. But STOP, don't move. Just watch and feel your fear.

Touch it, smell it, taste it, hear it, look at it.

 You can feel the emotions towards this fear enter your body, you can feel negative emotions screaming to hide inside again but STOP stay there, don't do anything just keep observing the emotions you are experiencing towards this fear for 5 seconds...now accept this emotions, close the door behind you and keep walking towards the light. Your fear is still there but believe me, when you live in flesh and blood your fear, it WILL vanish on its own.

New fears will always re-surface, there will never be a perfect day, there will always be a strom your entire life. That will never change so like I said in the story "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass but learning how to dance in the rain.

By the way, when I say 5 seconds I'm saying it as figurative speaking. We can take as long as 5 to 30 minutes in this space observing our emotions. The point of this mental exercise is to take a deep breath and give life a chance. Allow yourself at least one chance to step outside of your comfort zone and visualize(or actually live) that which you MOST fear and see how it's like...Is it as scary as you thought it was or did you realize it wasn't such a big deal at all?

If so, close the door and keep walking. Never look back again and when you do STOP, breath..5 seconds...observe.

The science behind this exercise

It's been proven that to combat fear, you have to live that which you fear. If you are afraid of public speaking, do that lots and lots till the fear is there no more. If you are afraid of being humiliated, then be the person you really are since the first moment you meet strangers and even if they make fun of you, keep on being you anyways. The day will come when those negative feedback will have no effect in your self-esteem and that real friends will pop up and accept the real you.

Observe as the world judges you, some in negative ways and others in positive ways. You might change, but the world won't change with you. That's why it's so important to apply the 5 second rule and see that stepping out of our comfort zones ain't so bad after all. Are YOU ready to step out of your comfort zone :)?

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Dogs: An Inspiration

My dog Michi. She's the sweetest dog I've ever known. :)

"My dog is my motivation. Seeing a dog that despite being harmed, despite being treated like an animal, despite having a chain around, despite staying home lonely while we leave, despite it all... he's always there like a little kid, making you smile.

Dogs can feel how you feel. Haven't you ever felt their comfort?
Just to see that grateful dog that, despite it all, is still next to us motivates me. Even if we complain about him, he is always so cheerful.
We learn from everything Jica. Even from animals." ~ Taiga

A few weeks ago, I was feelings down and depressed. That's when I decided to have a lil talk with my trustworthy friend Taiga and simply let that out, let out all those troubles and tell her everything I felt and the things that bothered me.

She listened to me talk my craziness and in between our conversation, I asked her "What gives you motivation in life?" She mentioned smiles, her boyfriend, her friends, God, even me because I was an inspirational person to her. (Something I was unaware of.)

All of a sudden, she mentioned this certain motivation for life which took me by total surprise. Her dogs. That quote above is her exact words. I felt as my eyes opened wide and my jaw dropped. I had finally found a source of inspiration sense to my life. Never before had I considered dogs to serve as such an extreme example of perseverance, simplicity and unconditional love.

I couldn't help but feel hope resurface my being once more. I had been in a deep state of depression. I couldn't find a reason to motivate me and keep on my goals. I couldn't think of any. I was simply lost and tired.

I was uncheereble. My self-esteem was down to the lowest of the lowest, my humiliation and hurt ego was a fact. I coudn't help but feel weak but.. when she told me the quoted phrase above, I literally felt a bright dust brushing the pain out of my heart and being released out in the air-- blown away forever and becoming bright spectacles of light and uniting with the universe.

I had never thought of dogs in such a way. I'm a dog lover to top it off. I love my 2 dogs. In my times of pain I accompany my dog, Michi (pictured above) inside her dog house and hug her, pat her soft head.

 Michi's a shy and lazy dog so she doesn't play but my other dog does. A bit too hyperactive for play but he can be fun to look at. My point is that they always love me. They never deny my love.

Even if they live the life of well, a dog- they still love me. My Michi still loves me. Michi will forever be my daughter. Even beyond her death she will always be my first daughter. I never quite realized that even after we scold them for their misbehavior they still wag their little tails as soon as the see us again.

To our dogs, we are still those that feeds them and places their blankets to sleep. We are still their masters and forever will.

I had never thought that even after a busy day in which we've neglected her as a doggy she still loves us humans(or better said the food and safety we offer?). She never hesitastes to wag her tail and get on her two feet for us to pat her head and feed her food and water.

We gotta learn from the simplicity of dogs and love the world unconditionally, even when it seems like the world has not returned us what we expect of it.

5 life lessons we can learn from dogs:

1) Don't hold grudges, forgive and forget - Life is too precious to be wasting time relying on past grudges. When times like that come up, I want you to recognize your anger, deal with it and then smile and keep on with life.

2) Love the world even when it hasn't given you anything good in return - Let's be honest, life rarely offers us the ideal life we dream of. That's why it's so important to be grateful about life, even when it hasn't offered us anything to be grateful about but trust me, there will ALWAYS be something to be grateful about. Try writing a diary of gratitude on a daily basis and you'll see what I mean.

3) Value food, water, home and love - Sometimes we aren't grateful enough for what we do have so value them like the treasure they are.

4) Even so, never give up on life - Some dogs experience the cruelest lives any humans can ever imagine but even so, they never give up on life. Even when everything fails them, even in times of hunger and sickness-- they keep on till their last breath. Dogs never EVER give up on life.

5) Enjoy the moment - The best tense to live in is the present. The past is there to help us un-root our present issues and the future is to look forward to but as an awesome quote says the present is the only moment in which we live in. So enjoy it :)

So yeah.. always smile.. always cherrish those delicate and small moments in life. Love the world in the hardships and wag your tail at those that have hurt you. Cheers to Life!! :)

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How To Plan Out A Resolution For The New Year: And Stick To It

"People with clear, written goals accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them can ever imagine" ~Anonymous

Hey guys/gals! 2013 is knocking at our doorsteps! *Gasp* Time flies fast doesn't it? I don't know about you but I'm excited and pumped up here ;D! As a gesture of my excitement I will share 3 out of my 12 resolutions for 2013:

1- Apply the habit of waking up early each day

2-  Get my Driver's License and a car (Plus pass the College Board with high points)

3- Finish my first novel

I'll slash the resolutions as I finish them and I'll announce the edits later on. Moving on, as the title suggests I'm going to teach you how to plan out a resolution-- which is perhaps one of the hardest things to do.

The Importance of Living with Resolutions

Resolutions are important because they are the map that guide us into implementing our goals as a lifestyle. It's a basic plan, a starting point. It's common to view resolutions as something optional or as something to think about only during the festivities of New Year but that's erroneous.

Resolutions are meant to be your guide for the rest of the year. We will always be living inside a year so it really is a matter of writing those resolutions in New Year and applying them into our daily lives.

How to Sketch out a New Year Resolution

1) Write 12 Resolutions but start out the year with only 3. When you achieve those 3 resolutions, do 3 more. 

 The reason for this is because if you overload your schedule with 12 resolutions all at once-- trust me your mind will blow and you'll probably end up quitting or end up super stressed. As I always say keep it simple-- step by step is the way to go!

The simpler the better because that way we can dedicate more time to our resolutions and thus have a richer and happier process in accomplishing our resolutions. Since resolutions are meant as a lifestyle and not as an end goal we will lead happier lives overall as well.

2) Have a clear view of why you are motivated on achieving each resolution

It's crucial to have a clear and valid reason that motivates us for each resolution. Write down the reason for your motivations besides every single resolution. It's easy to loose our way or to feel that impulse of giving up. That's why motivation is important-- it will refresh your mind on why you wanted this resolution in the first place and keep you on track.

3) Be totally honest and listen to your heart

Honesty is gold and the heart doesn't lie. Listen to your heart and choose resolutions that you truly wish to accomplish in your current state. The purpose of a resolution is to change an aspect in your life for the positive. It would ruin the point if you were to choose resolutions for the sake of what others want rather than what you want.

4) Keep reminders of your resolution list in places you are sure to read them daily

 This can perhaps be, the most important step to accomplish your resolutions. Life can be messy at times. With the technology and issues that come upon us each day it's no wonder most of us abandon (or rather forget) about our resolutions as early as the first week. That's just scary!

No matter how good of a memory you think you have, the truth is that if you don't note down your goals anywhere-- you will forget about them and if you forget about your resolutions, then you will loose sight of what is it that you wanted in the first place. That's why it's important to remind yourself of your resolution list every single day.

I'm speaking about keeping notes of your list in places you know you will see each day without making an effort (Preferably during mornings hours). For example: your wallet, the mirror, the fridge, the toilet, your billboard, your diary, your laptop, e-mail reminders/text/phone reminders, etc.

Personally I like automatic cell phone reminder.s It rings automatically reminding me I even have resolutions. But to stay on the safe side it's best to have minimum 5 reminder sources about your resolutions gathered around places you go to on a daily basis naturally.

5) Keep it Simple. One resolution at a time

As I had already mentioned previously in this article-- keep it simple. Yes, you do in fact start the year with 3 resolutions (if that's the number you chose of course) but do only one of this 3 resolutions at a time. That's why #1 suggests you write only 10-12 resolutions. That way you could concentrate on 1 each month if it applies for the rest of resolutions you choose.

6) Review your resolutions in July (mid-year) or the last days of the months

Like any other goal system it's important to review the list midway, or if you're a fast thinker like me, once a month would do. We are dynamic beings. It's normal to change. Sometimes resolutions that resounded with our inner selves in January don't resound with us anymore by July. That's why it's important to follow your heart.

Happy New Year! :)

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The Truth About Taking the First Step

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”
– Semisonic, Closing Time

The truth about taking the first step is that it's actually the end of another, previous beginning. In other words, the first step is actually the end to our prequel. It's a misconception to think that the first step is literally the first step. You couldn't be farther from the truth...

 What Exactly IS The Prequel?

The prequel is the beginning we ended at the moment we took the first step. The prequel is that moment in life in which we are still that person that is yet not conscious of his/her inner desires.

Since they are not yet conscious of their own desires people that still live in their prequels tend to live their entire lives working in unfulfilling jobs or doing random things to entertain themselves each day.

For the sake of simplicity we will refer to them as prequelers. Does that word even have a meaning? Actually no, it doesn't but let's pretend that it does have a meaning from now on.

Sadly, most people stay as prequelers their entire life. But that is why we are here in the first place-- to end this prequel once and for all.

Believe it or not, we all have a big dream (or dreams) we want to achieve in our lifetime. You can hide, pretend, ignore, puke--- but no matter what, deep down in our hearts we are all dreamers.

How Much Does The Prequel Last?

 
There is no set time-limit to how much a prequel can last. The prequel starts at the moment you are born and ends at the moment you decide to take the first step.

For some, the first step happens early in life-- while most of us take the first step much later in life. The reason for this is that we are all unique.

Each and every one of us has his/her own personality, views, morals, beliefs, etc. and as such taking the first step will be a different experience for all of us.

Why Does It Takes Us So Long To Take The First Step?

The reason why taking the first step takes us so long is because we are talking about making an absolute decision. Not a lame decision in which you quit in like 2-3 days.

We are talking about compromise, passion and perseverance. Serious business. When we speak of an absolute decision we are speaking of applying our desires as a lifestyle.

"It's not something we can do from one day to another. We haven't truly taken the first step until we make a conscious decision to take a first step that changes our lives-- forever. "

The End Of The Prequel

The prequel ends when we take a proper decision to transform our goals into a lifestyle and stay loyal to such lifestyle. In the second part of this article I'll share an exercise, which I learned from 2 trustworthy websites, that will show you how to clear your mind and take an absolute decision into ending your prequel and starting the story of your life.

By the way, have you taken the first step? How? Or are you still a prequeler? Feel free to share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section! Until next time! ;)

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